From Elementary School through Seminary, one thing remained constant: academics were always a struggle for me.  With learning disabilities, including Attention Deficit Disorder, studying, completing assignments, and performing well on tests were significant challenges.  The concentration required to stay on task often slipped away, so I frequently spent more time struggling with my work than actually succeeding at it.   That’s why I’m really thankful that the internet didn’t become widespread until my senior year of college.  I can’t imagine how much harder it would have been to study and learn with all those additional distractions.

Thanks so much for stopping by to read this homily for the 24th SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME, September 15, 2024.  I appreciate your sharing this on your social media posts and your feedback and comments…  I’m also grateful for all those who’ve asked for the audio version and share them as well at SOUNDCLOUD click HERE or from ITUNES as a podcast HERE.  May the Lord be glorified in your reading and sharing- Father Jim

For a long time, I felt that my academic difficulties meant I was not smart.  It took me a while to understand that wasn’t the case, though I developed some poor study habits that helped me try to cover my struggles.  Most notably, I focused on studying for tests rather than genuinely trying to grasp and learn the material.

This realization didn’t fully dawn on me until college.  Throughout high school, quizzes, tests, and projects were spaced out enough that I could memorize and perform relatively well.  Our high school report cards were unique, featuring six columns: four for the marking periods and separate columns for Midterms and Finals.  So, I sometimes would have honor roll status or be close to it in the marking periods, but I often received C’s (or even lower on the exams).   Although I didn’t let this bother me much at the time, college presented a new challenge.

Because in college, the entire grade for most courses hinged on mid-term and final exams.  There were no longer numerous opportunities to build up averages and cushion a poor test score.  Many professors even gave us a heads-up about the exam questions to help us prepare, but I still found myself frantically memorizing talking points and jotting down outlines in those blue books.  I would spend nights poring over notes and review sheets, trying to create a coherent essay.  As soon as the exams were distributed, I hastily wrote out my outline and often managed to include the right answers.  However, I realized I hadn’t truly internalized or understood the material as thoroughly as I needed.   It wasn’t until one priest professor who had “oral exams” where you had to sit one-on-one with him for 15-20 minutes and do a question and answer face to-face that I realized how problematic this was.  The professor literally had written the book for the class.  You know it’s going to be hard to spin a guy who wrote the textbook.  When I sat down for the Mid-term, one of the first questions he asked, I regurgitated a memorized talking point in which he said, “That’s correct,” instantly feeling euphoric, only to have him follow up by saying, “So what does that mean?” I tried my best to dodge, bobbing, and weaving.  But I was getting increasingly anxious and nervous and knew I was blowing it.  He was tough and really brutal with me – I passed, but he laid into me about what I could’ve done differently, how I needed to approach things more honestly – ask for help, as he said “knowing the answer isn’t the same as understanding it.”

That embarrassing memory came to mind with this exchange between Simon Peter and Jesus.  The Gospel of Mark is actually Mark’s recounting of Simon Peter basically telling the story of Christ.  Mark accompanied Peter as he preached the Gospel, fulfilling Jesus’ commission to teach all nations about everything that the first disicples had witnessed and experienced.  The Gospel of Mark is a transcription of Simon Peter’s testimony that he will ultimately lay down his life for.   So when you read Mark, you hear Simon Peter’s voice in a unique way, and you can pick up on things.  For example, this same scene is recounted in the Gospel of Matthew.  They both have Peter confessing Jesus as the Christ, the Messiah, both have Jesus taking this opportunity to explain to them what that means – that Jesus will suffer, die, and rise again, both have Peter with his heart in the right place, but foolishly objecting to Jesus’ words and Jesus rebuking him with the devastating line ‘Get behind me Satan.’  But it’s interesting to me that the only part that is different between the two is that Peter leaves out Jesus’ words saying ‘Blessed are you Simon, son of Jonah – For Flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father.  And so I say to you, you are Peter, and upon this rock, I will build my church.” He doesn’t leave out the smackdown and how he went from receiving the most unexpected and greatest affirmation from Jesus to what we might consider one of the hardest of corrections.

Obviously, there’s a vulnerability there.  Even after Jesus’ death, resurrection, and ascension… even after the outpouring of the Holy Spirit – where Simon Peter and the apostles’ lives have been transformed, Simon Peter remembers with great humility how what made him the “rock” of the Church Jesus was founded, that made him the First Pope of the Catholic Church wasn’t a “what” or anything he had accomplished on his own – but rather a who – Jesus Himself.  And that was only successful when Simon Peter stopped thinking and doing things in his own way and listened to Jesus.  He could only fulfill his vocation when Simon Peter recognized it was more than having the correct answers but the more profound understanding contained in them.

This is why Simon Peter wanted to share this pivotal moment.  Because all the Jews of that day and age eagerly anticipated the coming of the Messiah.  But their understanding of who He would be and what he would do often brought various answers.  All of which had some elements of truth.  All of which they could point to some scripture or prophet to support their answers.  But all of which missed the completeness the fulfillment of the Word becoming Flesh in Jesus Christ.  Simon Peter wants everyone to know that Jesus is the Messiah and experience the profound transformation that is required, when we listen to Jesus’ invitation to “come and follow me.” It was a lesson that the true essence of faith and discipleship goes beyond surface-level knowledge and memorization; it requires a deep, personal encounter with Jesus, a transformation of the heart and mind.

In our own lives, we often find ourselves like Simon Peter, grappling with the challenge of moving beyond superficial understanding to a deeper, more authentic relationship with Christ.  Just as I struggled with my academic challenges, sometimes we struggle in our faith journey.  We may focus on outward appearances, performances, or the bare minimum of what is required, rather than striving to genuinely understand and live out our faith.

The readings today speak to this profound transformation.  In Isaiah, the prophet describes his own experiences of suffering and trust in God.  He says, “The Lord God has opened my ear, and I was not rebellious; I turned not backward.” Despite the suffering and trials, the prophet remains steadfast, showing us that understanding and faith are forged in the crucible of hardship and unwavering trust in God’s plan.

St. James, in his letter, emphasizes the necessity of living out our faith through actions: “What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone says he has faith but does not have works?  Can that faith save him?” He’s not dismissing the importance of the gift of faith that God pours out – but recognizing that as human beings, called to evangelize fellow human beings, people need signs that point to these internal, eternal realities.  The philosopher Peter Kreeft made the point that living faith produces good works [just like] a living orange tree always produces oranges.  Like the roots of a plant, faith is invisible.  You can’t see faith.  How, then, can you know if anyone has faith?  Because you can see works. .. How can you tell if you have a living orange tree?  Because you can see the oranges.”  This call to action is a direct response to a superficial understanding of faith.  True faith is not merely professed with our lips but is demonstrated through our deeds, our love for others, and our commitment to living out the teachings of Christ.

When we examine our own lives, we must ask ourselves: Are we like Simon Peter, who initially struggled to understand the deeper meaning of Christ’s mission?  Or are we willing to embrace the challenge of moving beyond a superficial grasp of our faith to a deeper, transformative relationship with Jesus?  Are we ready to take up our cross, as Jesus calls us to do, and follow Him in a way that is more than just a matter of external compliance but a true, internal conversion?

As we continue with this Mass, let us pray for the grace to move beyond mere knowledge and to seek a true understanding of what it means to be a disciple of Christ.  Let us ask for the courage to face the challenges in our own lives with faith and perseverance, knowing that our struggles and sacrifices are part of our journey towards deeper union with God.

May our receiving of Jesus’ Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity in the Eucharist strengthen us to live out our faith authentically, not just in word but in deed, and may the example of Simon Peter inspire us to seek a deeper understanding of Jesus and to follow Him with our whole hearts.