//MOMS (one and only) SUNDAY DINNER FAIL


Hi everyone here’s my homily for August 31, 2014 – the 22nd Sunday in Ordinary Time.  The readings can be found at http://usccb.org/bible/readings/083114.cfm.  Many thanks as always for reading, for your comments and feedback – and for sharing the blog on facebook, twitter, & redditt.  God Bless!  Fr. Jim

–> PS – With Labor Day being tomorrow, we’re ending our Summer Appeal for the Newman Center – this year with the funds helping us as the Archdiocese just purchased a second house for our use! We’re so grateful for everyone’s support.  If you’d like to make a donation and read more about it – check out www.MSUNEWMAN.com.  Thanks again!


     Growing up Italian, I learned one of the most sacred of traditions … Sunday dinner. My Mother has continued to make the most valiant attempts to gather us all together as family for this utmost important event, but sadly, it slipped away for us and many other Italian-Americans here in the US. We still gather together as a family for a Sunday dinner, but maybe only once a month … usually to celebrate someone’s birthday or a holiday.

     But I gotta give my Mom credit – she still tries really hard to get all of us to break away from our crazy, non-stop schedules of work, chores, and other commitments that we try to slip in on the weekends, and get us to come together more regularly. She’ll put out feelers to see if she can find a day we’re all available, then mix in some Italian guilt in here and there, and even bribe us with making one of our favorite meals. 

One Sunday, about 13 years ago, was quite a memorable Sunday dinner. I was a parish priest at the time, and between the four different Masses, I had run up to my room for a few minutes and saw that my answering machine light was blinking. It was my Mom saying “Hi Honey – I just wanted to see if you had nothing going on this afternoon. I’m making lasagna.” My ears perked up…Lasagna – really? Wow – I mean, even though I don’t know how to cook, I do know that’s like a really, really big deal. There’s so many intricate steps. My mom making a pot of Gravy (aka Tomato Sauce and meatballs) is always pretty special – you know it’s something that takes time and is delicious. But Lasagna – it’s so much more work – you have to boil the noodles, then you lay them out on these big trays as you try to pour the layers of cheese and meat and keep stacking them – which is a real pain to do since the noodles are wet and soft and slippery. I was really surprised that late on a Sunday morning that this was been the first I heard of this.

     So I called her back and said “You’re making lasagna, really?” She said “Yes, I just had a taste for it, so I decided to make it.” I asked her if my brothers were coming and she said – “No, it’s just your father and I – can you make it?” Quickly I looked at my appointment book: “Well I have a baptism after Mass, and I have a wake to attend, but I can go to the wake tonight instead of this afternoon, so I probably can swing it.” She said “Good! I’ll see you then.” The rest of the morning, I was eagerly anticipating Mom’s homemade lasagna… even tasting it as I drove home. As we sat down, Mom was already pushing meatballs and bread on me – which I was kind of dodging as I didn’t want to get full even before she took this tray of lasagna out of the oven.

Again, I expressed my surprise that she had made it just for the three of us (and I wasn’t even a guarantee to attend till that morning) and Mom just dismissed it saying “Well, you can take a plate home and I can freeze and save some for your brothers…”As she brought the tray out, took the aluminum foil off the top – I just blurted out – “What’s that?” Somewhat defensive (which I guess after blurting out a question like that, she very simply responded) “Lasagna” – “But – What happened to it?” (At which point my Father is trying to stop himself from laughing and is shaking at the end of the table) My mother, with a knife in her hand just said “Nothing…” “Why does it look like that?” It kind of looked like someone had deflated a regular lasagna – like it was a flat tire… Angrily slicing it and serving it, she said “Just shut up and eat it…it’s good – just try it” – “Come on Mom… how could it be good, when it looks like… well, I don’t know what it looks like, but it doesn’t look like your lasagna – what happened?” Still denying anything was wrong with it, I got up and went to the garbage – which she tried to block me from doing… As I opened it, I found an empty box of what was labeled “No boil lasagna” – “AH HA – I KNEW IT” – “Just try it” she argued… which I did. I said “Mom – if I were making this, that would be one thing. That would be a massive feat for me to put these things together and make this thing… but there’s no way this is anywhere near as good what you normally make.” To this day – she will not admit I was right. But a few weeks after this terrible incident, she made the real lasagna. When I said “See, I mean, come on, I know it’s a pain to make, but tell me you don’t see the difference” she simply told me to “just shut up and eat it.” But she knows the truth- 13 years later she’s never made the no-boil lasagna again.As much as I probably sounded like a brat (which is what my mother called me that day)

The reason we could have that honest of a conversation and be that brutally honest is because of the depth of love. My mother is a phenomenal cook… and my parents are incredibly generous to me – to all of us. My mom knows how much I love her that even my rudeness (and accuracy) could be quickly forgiven.

The reality is that none of us likes to hear “You can do better…” If it’s just some random person who offers that unsolicited estimation we might be more dismissive “Who asked you, Jerk???” But if it comes from a parent, a teacher, a coach, or perhaps a really good friend – that’s quite a different thing, isn’t it. In those instances, we realize it’s coming from someone who cares about us, who knows us, and probably knows – we’re capable of much more than whatever it is we’ve offered.

When we hear Jesus basically calling St. Peter “Satan” in today’s Gospel, that sounds like a pretty awful put down. There’s literally nothing worse someone could call someone else. Even the most diabolic of figures in history are often compared to him or assumed to be heading to or residing in Satan’s abode – Hell. And it seems even more shocking coming after what we heard just a week ago when Peter is declared to be Jesus’ right hand man. The sentences right before this Gospel passage was the conversation where Peter responds to Jesus question “Who do you say I am?” with “You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God.” In that moment of testimony, Jesus exclaims “Blessed are you Simon Peter! For flesh and blood have not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father! You are Peter, and upon this rock I will build my Church” (Matthew 5: 18) Here we are, just mere momets later – and this”blessed” rock is being called “Satan.”

Ouch! And I thought putting down Mom’s lasagna was bad!

     The thing that struck me though is that Jesus had to have loved Peter and Peter had to have loved Jesus in order for Jesus to be that brutally truthful…laying down some “tough love”calling him to greater holiness, sharing with him his greater expectations, even in a way trying to foreshadow for Peter that not only will Jesus himself suffer and die a terrible death – so would Peter.

     Jesus is making it abundantly clear that being the rock, the “foundation” Jesus was building his Church upon wasn’t going to be a position of honor or prestige, but one of selfless, sacrificial service. In throwing out “get behind me Satan” Jesus is purposely being dramatic to illustrate just how crucially important it is that Peter – who he thinks so highly of, who he has such great hopes for and sees such great potential for -that he truly understand the implications in being this rock, being this foundation, being the first Pope. Scripture doesn’t capture for us Peter’s initial reaction – was he stunned? was he hurt? Was he confused? Was he disappointed in himself? We can only speculate. But obviously this encounter was memorable for it to have been recorded. And knowing the rest of the story, that Peter would still falter, and struggle throughout his ministry tells us that these types of correction while humbling (embarrassing even) didn’t destroy him. Peter wanted to be all that Jesus imagined him to be. Peter doesn’t lose sight of the love Jesus has for him with this fraternal correction.

How about us? We know all too well how difficult, how challenging it is to follow Jesus Christ, follow his teachings ourselves. We struggle, we’re tempted, we fail and fall. Sometimes multiple times a day (an hour?) But hopefully what makes it possible for us to dare to come before the Lord here each Sunday for Mass is that in spite of those struggles and failures, we have experienced, we’ve come to know and believe in the immense love and mercy of God for us. We can’t forget that we’re one confession away from being washed completely clean of all our sins. As Pope Francis has said repeatedly “God never tires of forgiving us, it is we who get tired of asking for forgiveness.” Jesus casting his light into our darkness isn’t meant to hurt or embarrass us. It’s the complete opposite.

     Jesus is telling us we’re worth the time, worth the concern… He knows us, knows how capable we are – the potential we hold. And will not give up on us in pursuing us and calling us into deeper relationship with him. Are you experiencing that deep relationship with Jesus where you know he has the best for you in mind? If you aren’t, I challenge you to seek that kind of closeness with him. He will always give you his best, and he wants your best for him. May we never lose sight that these corrections we experience are being offered in love. May we never forget that essential point in offering “Gospel corrections” to those we meet.